Love Rant

I was wrong about love. Love is a freeing thing.. maybe not infinitely, but love frees you from yourself. Even blind love, it takes you away from yourself and your imagination.. not saying it's a good thing to leave your imagination behind, but just once in a while we need a break from our minds in order to stay sane. And that's what love, whatever kind, does for you, it frees you from the inside-out, of your thoughts. Love is the root of all evil. Wait, that's money. Can't buy me love.

Anyway, I only say this because my heart has been fuller in the past 3 days than I have felt it's fullness in months. I mean it, months. Yesterday I was drunk with love. Ooh how I miss love, how I miss it so.

Real quick: who am I even speaking to on here? Probably some third-person projection of myself. I know of maybe 2 readers.
Ah, that's it! I'm speaking to YOU dear mind, YOU failed love-tamer, who furies my thoughts, stirring them vigorously with a cracking wooden spoon and flings them like batter about the walls. From this bloggy vantage point I can see your messy cooking skills and wonder at it all. Ha! Learn to pour a pancake for godssake. And the oven's burning again, can't you see?!

Ok anyway, Love.

Maybe I'm blindly making up love because I want so badly to have love during the approaching holiday season? Since I do not have, nor can I simply select a Love, I've been searching for any emotionally interested clue for a while now... maybe that's why when one even came close to coming along I snatched it up! Give me an inch, I'll take a mile. As the saying goes.

Like the wonderful play I was lucky enough to perform in last night. Oh, Charles Lamb. I got to be Charliemeboy, Charles the stuttering, ginloving Lamb. I started to fall into a close acquaintance with him, he was becoming me, just enough so that we could perform our staged reading last night. And after, like all good things, I had to let him go.

That's an interesting piece of Love, and life. Every thing we love must be available to be let go at any moment. That's a folly and a strength I mix together - don't wrap it around your wrist for when that unexpected day arrives that you must let go you'll lose your hand with it! You have to have it in your palm, between your fingers only, ready to release.

But the things that we really love never go away. And the things we try to love do.

It's the getting from B to A that is so hard, going away to not. One letter's difference, and a universe of impossibility. How many times have you actually succeeded in wanting to love something, and then getting what you want: getting to love it? A rare few.

I loved my college career but that was more like a wild animal that I had to tame, so I wrapped the reigns all the way up my arms and pulled and struggled and tamed it.

But people are different.. aren't they? Are they. Maybe. When you have feelings for someone, instead of gingerly hoping they don't spook and dash like a timid cat, should you rather take whatever strings you've got and hang on for dear life? If they run, you follow.. you don't let go with all your might? Can you really tame a human?
I have a feeling, no. You can't tame a human, it's inhumane. You have to meet them halfway.

Meeting them halfway. That's the tough part, because they have to come around. You can stand in the middle waiting and waiting.. but they have to choose it for themselves. The waiting is what kills me :)

But it's that exact waiting where love really makes you show your colours. Do you work? Are you an active waiter, working on things and keeping up to date? Or a passive waiter, ignoring the situation and going about your day?

I know nothing of love. Love is like auditions.. you learn all you need to know in one and then the next is a completely different animal, and all your knowledge is useless.

Speaking of auditions, I have two in about 2 hours. So I must be off

Farewell.