I miss blog comments

Comment away! I sometimes wonder if anybody's even listening. Not that i say too much anymore, but you know.

everything's sterling silver now

I read a magazine article tonight about guys that have "Changed Their Lives" in their forties by quitting their high-end, professional jobs to pursue the things they really want to do (ie. starting an adventure-guiding company, a non-profit charity organization, a traveling vagabond and a New York comedian). These stories perplex me. When I read about them, I can't help but wonder what these men were thinking while they sailed through their mid-twenties, making as few bucks as me while searching to find a career that fit for them. Why didn't these men, who seem to represent such large chunks of "successful" men in our western world, pursue the things they really wanted to do THEN? Why is it so typical for people to wait until their early or mid forties to finally pursue the things they really wanted to do? Honestly, I don't get it. It took me two years of college to have the same realization that took these guys 25 years, which is the same realization that some people may never even achieve in their entire lifetime! WTF mate

The problem is that ours seems to be the first generation who's realizing that those full-time money-making careers are not satisfying enough. It's a cool realization to have, and can't really be unlearned. But I screwed myself by having it at 24, so that even now I don't have some sort of financial backing to set me up while I begin pursuing my real wants. I have few things and a heart so full of passion and ambition that I basically explode every night before I go to sleep. I can't cash in my 401k or budget my severance checks to help me fuel my creative future in "Finally Doing the Things I want to be Doing". No, by discovering that I refuse to waste my life at 24, I have no economic safety net to rely on to help me along in my pursuits. The economy does not behave nicely towards folks who want to do the things they really want to do. It's not set up that way. It makes you wonder what your real choices are here, where your skills really belong.

Am I alone? Did anybody else at 24-27 realize they were a Big-Business-Exec-Destined-For-Emotional-Relapse-at-45-to-Quit-Their-Job-to-Pursue-Better-Things besides me? Seriously. No job meets the ridiculous criteria I've set for myself.
I should have talked to Steve about this.

Matt, I think you know too. You seem to be someone who's landed a high-paying job while still doing the things you really want to be doing. Right? Have you done it correctly?
Seriously, I'm taking suggestions. I want to figure the "next thing" out soon. I'm sick of supernatural forces trampling my daily joys. There's an answer here, I just haven't found it yet.
Like the economy: there's an answer, we just don't know it yet.
Advice is Welcome.

new phone, new coffee pot, same old blub

As I was driving through the chilly sunset tonight, I realized this:
Occasionally I want nothing more than to just be entertained.
Nothing sounds more refreshing or relaxing to me than an opportunity to sit back, release the reigns and enjoy the show. This is one reason why I loved the bar I used to work at in Burbank. I could walk into work having the worst day imaginable, and still there'd be a friendly drunk old man or woman eager to smile and entertain me.
Steve, for example, said one day,

"Mikie? Mikie! What's wrong with you? Snap out of it! You're not yourself today Mikie. Well then let's talk about it, I want to hear what you're thinking about!"

Steves want to help us feel better again. They are Casual-Dependable people: they don't care enough about us to really be upset with our feelings, but at the same time they ain't goin nowhere. You could sit there and shoot the shittiest shit with Steve, and he'd listen to every word you said. He'd laugh, argue, or just plain listen, and in exchange would recount his own stories that might seem totally pointless to others, but incredible to you. Because he doesn't care, but he just wants to entertain. For some reason, it feels amazing to take the attention away from you and just be entertained. Like Steve's carefree laughter... cake for an infant! You can depend on Steves to simply make you smile. Steve lets you try new things. Steve reminds you that you can believe in anything you want, and feel any way you want to. And Steve doesn't let you leave without remember something valuable.
Life will throw you screws. You just have to catch some of them
and set them down.
Thanks Steve.

peace outie

I just shattered the coffee pot

There's something suspicious about this. I sometimes feel like the world of material things is out to get me. I have a severe knack for breaking beautiful things, spilling drinks, dropping glasses, smooching bumpers, bonking people - and at the same time I'm remarkably good at Yoga and other balance-related activities. So what is the deal?! Am I just so good that the world feels a need to belittle my supernatural powers of perfect balance through humbling chastisement?
Why do I break only beautiful things, and leave the crappy stuff unscathed?

One Hundred and Fifty Percent

Remember back in the day when everything we did was the biggest, hardest and most important thing we've ever done? Yeah well not much changed. Every day when you wake up in the morning you consciously or not make a series of events occur that will affect everybody around you forever, simply by getting and up and living. You create your reality, and others witness it. Pretty incredible. What if you inherently knew that you were destined for great things? What if you knew what you've always known since you were little, that You will someday be the mover and shaker for some of the greatest events known to mankind? The actions you will take will affect hundreds, millions of people around the world! Just like when you wake up in the morning and begin creating your life each day, so can you wake up in your life and begin creating changes in society for the good, every day, with all the good things you do! Have you began it?
we are all on a journey through the thickest mud and most treacherous waters. We have our friendships to help us with their flashlights and our enemies to chase us from behind. Society is a flooding river from a flash storm, and with only our bodies, words, hopes and dreams can we save the place we came from, from where we shall someday return.
I believe in the 150% - I believe in not allowing our lives to be complacent because even if we choose complacency we can choose it at 150%!
whoever said that, thank you for the sound advice.
I hear you quiet and clear
Look out world, this boy's got a mission again,
let's shake sh*t up!

Marty

here we go

I've been having a pretty difficult time getting a job lately.
And I saw Milk tonight. The film was excellent! seriously, it was great. Strolling downtown in the brisk night with Candice was refreshing, the Del Mar is a charming place to see movies in Santa Cruz, and afterwards nothing beats Orion's belt shining bright in the moonlight. You know?
Yeah. But getting a job in Santa Cruz is literally the most difficult thing I've ever attempted to do, in the history of my life. Graduating college was actually easier than this. By the time I'd done this much work I would be making thousands in the TV business, even millions. Seriously, the self-selling I've done here for the most repetitive, diminuitive work has been fruitless and I am humiliated one day after another. Only mother nature and a few close amigos are here to remind me that I am worth even barely more than nothing at all.
4+ months of Santa Cruz and I am no better off financially than a 17-year-old coming out of high school.
I'm ready to move to a place where there are opportunities for real jobs, and more friends than I have now. I don't know what the future's all about, but I could use a bit more motivation than I'm giving myself. Any help?


_Mikie

for god's sake give me a cool job. please, somebody hire my poor unemployed a$$