I'm sitting in a towncar right now driving through the dawn-lit empty streets of Pasadena towards highway 110, which will trek through the flows and turns of the Arroyo Seco highway, along beneath the highrises of downtown, across the expanding valleys of rooftops towards the great air port we all know of as LAX. It's been somewhat of a mad dash for the past 24 hours, trying to get my life (or AKA the collection of imagined realities I flounder in from day to day) together or in some order enough to leave it all behind without a thought or backwards glance. Which I think is exactly what I just did. Stepping into this towncar and sitting down, closing the metal clink of the doors together I had this rush of relaxation wash through me, a sort of cleansing for every piece of thing I had been controlling up until this point, where once I'd turned my body over to the black sleekness, to the man (the driver) behind the wheel I realized in that moment next to my house that I had no other choice but to relax. If I'd left something behind, forgotten my toothrush, packed incorrectly, didn't take care of some outstanding problem well so be it.. because I'm officially taken away in a black horse, there is no turning back. Maybe this happens every day, but I'm always in control and rolling solo. This time leaving my house, I've got 6 days of new stuff before I have to get off the river. And so step I into the Lincoln, shove off and float swiftly away from the shore and towards a semi-familiar horizon with only the skills I've brought with me to use. Now I can relax for the first time in months. For a second that's really nice.
Let's just hope my dinner clothes are nice enough :-)
See you in Florida
Mikie
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Haircuts and Summertime
I'm avoiding writing a blog I thought of last night, after a conversation with Michelle Trachternberg, about what life would have been like if my parents had signed me with that LA agent back in 1991..
Let's just do a blog about memories. And summer and haircuts. and stuff.
I spent a good hour walking to a bar in Pasadena tonight called Barney's Beanery. On the walk, under the brisk night dew that hangs a hundred feet above our heads this close to the ocean, I could smell the must of salt and found myself reminiscing about the month of May. If you had to remember every May you've experienced, could you do it? I gave myself the challenge, and aloud on my nighttime jaunt I recounted each may from 2010 through 2003..then I got to the bar and started meeting the natives.
It's funny, how each May was accompanied with a distinctive feeling, like a nostalgia that was hardly even tied to the idea but surfaced the moment I brought it up. For instance, I thought. 'hmm, May 2007' and suddenly my head was aflood with memories from that year, including several smells that cloud my senses even until today..some including that musty salty ocean wet smell that is filling my nostrils right now.
But who cares about our ability to memorize the past, to remember from whence we came? I'm more interested in the present, what dishes lay before us now, what spread is available.
As we heave into these upcoming summer months, I look forward to the rafting season, the hot sun on my peeling skin, the cold water and Daniel's blue nose, the weird train rides and uncertainty of it all... I love it. But also I look forward to anything unexpected that will be thrown into my face - there's a place for that in my summer wishes. Like, a huge deal with some incredible people that changes the course of life. God wouldn't that be nice.
Another thing I realized while walking to the bar is that I've started a business and I've been fairly irresponsible and shy with it. I need to treat myself as a working professional and get my business going, hustle myself and get people to buy my services. Seriously, I have some products worth selling that are genuinely useful to society. Why not attempt to market what I have spent years growing?
I'm being too honest. Just like Elena, there's too much honesty. But what the hell. I could tell you a million things, and I'd never fully disclose it all.
Now, I didn't sing at karaoke tonight at Powell's because, well, I live 450 miles away. But I wish I had because I love those people. However, I additionally wish those people would realize how big of an influence they could have on the world if they took their creativity and art and shared it with the masses. and there's so much space for that, for those creative people. Because here there's a scramble for true creativity, and it's sad to see in the midst of that international crave for change a massive collection of individuals living cyclically far away only for themselves.
Enough. This blog is a worthless half-drunk rant. Goodnight. Join me. And goodnight. Business time. Sleep time. Goodnight.
Love
Me
Let's just do a blog about memories. And summer and haircuts. and stuff.
I spent a good hour walking to a bar in Pasadena tonight called Barney's Beanery. On the walk, under the brisk night dew that hangs a hundred feet above our heads this close to the ocean, I could smell the must of salt and found myself reminiscing about the month of May. If you had to remember every May you've experienced, could you do it? I gave myself the challenge, and aloud on my nighttime jaunt I recounted each may from 2010 through 2003..then I got to the bar and started meeting the natives.
It's funny, how each May was accompanied with a distinctive feeling, like a nostalgia that was hardly even tied to the idea but surfaced the moment I brought it up. For instance, I thought. 'hmm, May 2007' and suddenly my head was aflood with memories from that year, including several smells that cloud my senses even until today..some including that musty salty ocean wet smell that is filling my nostrils right now.
But who cares about our ability to memorize the past, to remember from whence we came? I'm more interested in the present, what dishes lay before us now, what spread is available.
As we heave into these upcoming summer months, I look forward to the rafting season, the hot sun on my peeling skin, the cold water and Daniel's blue nose, the weird train rides and uncertainty of it all... I love it. But also I look forward to anything unexpected that will be thrown into my face - there's a place for that in my summer wishes. Like, a huge deal with some incredible people that changes the course of life. God wouldn't that be nice.
Another thing I realized while walking to the bar is that I've started a business and I've been fairly irresponsible and shy with it. I need to treat myself as a working professional and get my business going, hustle myself and get people to buy my services. Seriously, I have some products worth selling that are genuinely useful to society. Why not attempt to market what I have spent years growing?
I'm being too honest. Just like Elena, there's too much honesty. But what the hell. I could tell you a million things, and I'd never fully disclose it all.
Now, I didn't sing at karaoke tonight at Powell's because, well, I live 450 miles away. But I wish I had because I love those people. However, I additionally wish those people would realize how big of an influence they could have on the world if they took their creativity and art and shared it with the masses. and there's so much space for that, for those creative people. Because here there's a scramble for true creativity, and it's sad to see in the midst of that international crave for change a massive collection of individuals living cyclically far away only for themselves.
Enough. This blog is a worthless half-drunk rant. Goodnight. Join me. And goodnight. Business time. Sleep time. Goodnight.
Love
Me
Monday, May 10, 2010
positive feedback
what happened to the man who refused to see life from someone else's point of view?
I think it's important to live and feel free, seek out joy and embrace new opportunities (especially the ones that slightly scare you), make friends and never forget any of them, look at the clouds often, smell the night air, remember everything, never be satisfied, never let yourself win for too long, go home when you're too tired, eat to feel good then use the food energy like your body was designed to do, play games and be fidgety, listen with your eyes, speak with your words, get naked whenever there's a chance for it, wash your hands, splash your face, don't take peoples' sh*t, apologize even if you don't mean it, drive fast when you feel like it, drive slow when you're not rushed, focus like every second is the most important second in history, kiss the mornings, sing into the nights, cry like a baby and film it, shake, scream, laugh, hurt, dance, open your eyes, get jokes, talk to your family, never give up, never 'try', get really close to the ground and touch it, know poison oak leaves, don't do drugs, love someone, sunsoak you skin, bathe regularly, pay attention, sleep, eat, discipline yourself, steal from the rich and give to the poor, stand up for noble and honorable causes, be active in pursuing those causes, confront your dragons, have aha! moments, quit your job, jump off a bridge, get made fun of, contradict yourself, be embarrassed, be a servant, deconstruct the social world that raised you from infancy, study foreign religions, believe in equality, love nature, make music, hug fully and comfortably, take nothing seriously, receive positive feedback and constructive criticism, have an opinion, forget everything you ever knew, know you know nothing, pick a direction and go for it.
I think it's important to live and feel free, seek out joy and embrace new opportunities (especially the ones that slightly scare you), make friends and never forget any of them, look at the clouds often, smell the night air, remember everything, never be satisfied, never let yourself win for too long, go home when you're too tired, eat to feel good then use the food energy like your body was designed to do, play games and be fidgety, listen with your eyes, speak with your words, get naked whenever there's a chance for it, wash your hands, splash your face, don't take peoples' sh*t, apologize even if you don't mean it, drive fast when you feel like it, drive slow when you're not rushed, focus like every second is the most important second in history, kiss the mornings, sing into the nights, cry like a baby and film it, shake, scream, laugh, hurt, dance, open your eyes, get jokes, talk to your family, never give up, never 'try', get really close to the ground and touch it, know poison oak leaves, don't do drugs, love someone, sunsoak you skin, bathe regularly, pay attention, sleep, eat, discipline yourself, steal from the rich and give to the poor, stand up for noble and honorable causes, be active in pursuing those causes, confront your dragons, have aha! moments, quit your job, jump off a bridge, get made fun of, contradict yourself, be embarrassed, be a servant, deconstruct the social world that raised you from infancy, study foreign religions, believe in equality, love nature, make music, hug fully and comfortably, take nothing seriously, receive positive feedback and constructive criticism, have an opinion, forget everything you ever knew, know you know nothing, pick a direction and go for it.
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