Friday, September 26, 2008

gloriously bright

dans zum, vermitraki
polorni ferzia verdi
Mem co von Kerney, jon bobi
budarewootyp about? says I
vedere shamoo full barenylie
for fathoms saker mertridie.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

saisons

un jour
deux quatre trois sept, cinq
quand elle ecrit, des jours Novembre
pleurir il pleut, pleurir soleil!
comme fortitude elle est etrange
comme gross explosion dans mes veines
avec les noir, rouge et sarcelle
les saisons sont faites rien de mal

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

really bad things happened tonight
because i don't have a job
how simple and mundane a reason
you think, 'what a lazy slob'
and so the purpose of this poem
is to describe in some detail
the places to which I have applied
with my resume, to no avail:

#1 Rosie McCann's, Santa Cruz
#2 Cabillo College
#3 UC Santa Cruz
#4 Limelite Cafe
#5 La Posta Italian Bistro
#6 Hoffmans downtown
#7 Kianti's Italian
#8 A shop at the harbor
#9 A movie man in SF
#10 Bookshop Santa Cruz
#11 Bugaboo sporting goods
#12 Logos books too
#13 Borders of course, who wouldn't
#14 Trader Joe's, downtown
#15 Seabright Brewery
#16 Takari Sushi
#17 Shogun Sushi too
#18 Beckmann's Bakery
#19 Lulu's
#20 Pacific Edge
#21 PCFMA (Pacific Coast Farmers Markets)
#22 A bar downtown
#23 your mom's garage
#24 a random disney TV spot
#26 Soif


+more, random TV submissions including: San Jose TV broadcasting stations and SF acting jobs.

Some might not believe me,
but I don't freakin care.
The opportunities are nearly none,
I'll stop pulling out my hair.
I've done everything I could,
except go back to Pizza My Heart
the one place I was told I shouldn't
now i'm here back at the start
alone again.

Friday, September 5, 2008

delusions of grandeur

After a small session with one of the community college advisors at Cabrillo, I might be more confused afterwards than I was before. The lovely lady made it perfectly clear that she could not help me, and neither could anybody else. In her tone of sweet sorrow, I was once again reminded that the great unknown will remain impenetrably abstract until Mikie decides blindly that it is time to take whatever step into the whatever waters of whatevertheheck.

This is me. A fixed uncertain creation, product of the higher-educational boom, a man without immediate purpose, choosing a future, purposely predisposed with patience until a Purpose, properly, is produced.

We can force change, but force is violence, which leads to sorrow. We can await change, but waiting is complacency which leads to disappointment. Stuck in the middle: confused for a while, certain for a while, confused for a little while longer, sometimes in all directions are sea waves of white caps, sometimes the shiniest sun shines brighter than the high sky's brightest shine.

then the crowd that used to be inevitable. They are now a dissipated shrapnel of friends blasted across the continent, where is each piece.

as creatures we seek to mend pain, find warmth in cold, cheer in sorrow. Humans are animals searching for a balance, seeking a homeostatic finale. Put your foot into the mud and the dipping will always make a print. But you must step to act; you must make a print. If you do not step, you wait.

When you look at pictures, everyone was smiling all the time.

What is the sadness always wrestling with midnight?
I must rediscover a totally constant state of peace. I must learn to accept myself unconditionally again. That I should have asked the college advisor about.

atrophy

there's booms just going off and off outside every window of this Seabright room.
what the heck happened? Muscle atrophy, that's what. Muscles of the mind and body weakened by sedentism. Whatever city I've lived in I'm seized up, not using myself.. except maybe a rafting trip every now and again to refresh the blood.
Atrophy, the leading cause of depression among young adults.

Monday, September 1, 2008

what part are we at?

we're at this part, it's the part before the next part.
What about the part when things go real slow and we get to sit back and relax?
No, that was the first part, remember? We already had that part.
Nuh-uh, there's a part at the end when we get to float for a long time in the sun.
OH, I know..actually that part doesn't exist anymore. The river keeps on going, that lake is actually gone now.
So what part are we at?
We're at the middle part, just before the next part, which has a few parts after that.

When is it over, how many minutes do we have left?
one.
No seriously
When the sun goes from there to about there, that's when it'll be over
Come on, how much time is that?
I don't know, one minutes plus twenty? Twenty-one minutes.
Ok. sorry I'm just getting a little anxious.

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