Sunday, June 6, 2010

Tie Dye Revolution

I predict the next big fashion trend revival is going to be Tie Dye.

To help muster things along (or "budge the boulder" so to speak) I'm going to set down a few preparations from someone who's TieDye-in-the-know, so that when the great TD-Day occurs, you'll be ready.

1 : Learn HOW to Tie Dye
- it's quite simple
- 3rd graders do it
- revive those grungy whites with a new look! Recycling!

2 : Take it slow
- Nobody like the guy who wears TD every single day.
- be patient - girls will be drawn to you but you must be patient.

3 : Start clashing NOW
- begin to assimilate a lack-of-match back into your wardrobe.
- try on things that don't look good together. Think 80s
- actually wear these clashing outfits out. supafly!

4 : Fall in Love
- once you start wearing Tie Dye regularly, you'll need someone there to back you up "just in case"
- Dinner and a movie in matching Tie-Dyed Snuggies is totally awesome
- Tie Dying alone can be depressing. Trust me.

5 : Tie Dye ALL your socks and underwear
- colorful swirls in your undies? I know.

6 : You're A Man. Be Proud
- This goes for women too

7 : If all else fails, wear TD to bed
- loose-fitting shirts, or "Daddy's Shirts" (for the ladies)

DO's and DONT's

DONT - wear matching TD'd shirts and shorts
DONT - Tie Dye wifebeaters and then never wear them
DONT - acknowledge TD once you've put it on. People will see it
DONT - grow dreadlocks unless you have a compelling, socially sound explanation

DO - wear TD on a 2nd date.
DO - walk nonchalantly through business sectors
DO - Thank others for their numerous compliments
DO - sweat profusely and forget to wash the shirt until a month later
DO - get excited!!! The Tie Dye Revolution is upon us!!

Mikie

(This message is dedicated to Dan Beckner, because he's waiting in the truck)

5 comments:

moonshinejunkyard said...

oh.my.dos. THAT'S I AM DYING LAUGHITN. something has happened to my keyboard but i'm keeping htis just the same, because wow. i am laughing my ass off so hard that nothing else matters. do be excited. the revolution is upon us. i love that you are going to need backup so have a girlfriend, and also do not wear matching TD shorts and top and just everything, everything, it is the moment i have been waiting for. and i am very very very excitiec=

mattbeatty said...

Hypercolor.

I Think My Tummy Hurts said...

I second this motion!

Astral Boutique said...

i also hurt from laughing. i like how you broke it all down- no chance of confusion here! i know what to do- wear my tie dyed wife beater on my first date in the business sector, right? thanks to your sis for linking to this. (-: Sasha

Violet Folklore said...

Mike, this is awesome! I also laughed my ass off watching your Calvin Klein video on Heather's facebook page recently. Thank you.