I'm avoiding writing a blog I thought of last night, after a conversation with Michelle Trachternberg, about what life would have been like if my parents had signed me with that LA agent back in 1991..
Let's just do a blog about memories. And summer and haircuts. and stuff.
I spent a good hour walking to a bar in Pasadena tonight called Barney's Beanery. On the walk, under the brisk night dew that hangs a hundred feet above our heads this close to the ocean, I could smell the must of salt and found myself reminiscing about the month of May. If you had to remember every May you've experienced, could you do it? I gave myself the challenge, and aloud on my nighttime jaunt I recounted each may from 2010 through 2003..then I got to the bar and started meeting the natives.
It's funny, how each May was accompanied with a distinctive feeling, like a nostalgia that was hardly even tied to the idea but surfaced the moment I brought it up. For instance, I thought. 'hmm, May 2007' and suddenly my head was aflood with memories from that year, including several smells that cloud my senses even until today..some including that musty salty ocean wet smell that is filling my nostrils right now.
But who cares about our ability to memorize the past, to remember from whence we came? I'm more interested in the present, what dishes lay before us now, what spread is available.
As we heave into these upcoming summer months, I look forward to the rafting season, the hot sun on my peeling skin, the cold water and Daniel's blue nose, the weird train rides and uncertainty of it all... I love it. But also I look forward to anything unexpected that will be thrown into my face - there's a place for that in my summer wishes. Like, a huge deal with some incredible people that changes the course of life. God wouldn't that be nice.
Another thing I realized while walking to the bar is that I've started a business and I've been fairly irresponsible and shy with it. I need to treat myself as a working professional and get my business going, hustle myself and get people to buy my services. Seriously, I have some products worth selling that are genuinely useful to society. Why not attempt to market what I have spent years growing?
I'm being too honest. Just like Elena, there's too much honesty. But what the hell. I could tell you a million things, and I'd never fully disclose it all.
Now, I didn't sing at karaoke tonight at Powell's because, well, I live 450 miles away. But I wish I had because I love those people. However, I additionally wish those people would realize how big of an influence they could have on the world if they took their creativity and art and shared it with the masses. and there's so much space for that, for those creative people. Because here there's a scramble for true creativity, and it's sad to see in the midst of that international crave for change a massive collection of individuals living cyclically far away only for themselves.
Enough. This blog is a worthless half-drunk rant. Goodnight. Join me. And goodnight. Business time. Sleep time. Goodnight.
Love
Me
2 comments:
i like what you said about creativity. for some reason i have kept trying to read this post and it wouldn't come up for me on my computer. and now i have finally read it! hooray! i want to hear about your meet-up with the little fam and what you guys did. i loved reading about your hour long walk through pasadena and the conjuring of memories. i do that a lot. we are nostalgic people by nature. so it's good to remind yourself to be in the present and open to whateve rmight come surprise you...and of course those memories just keep on haunting away anyway. like the river and the sun and daniel's nose, those images springing from summer memories of all the glorious years past. i miss you kid. you should drive up to santa rosa tomorrow and hang out with me and nichole! she's in town from maine. i love you and good night.
I enjoyed that blog Mikie. I would have loved hearing what some of your May memories consisted of. Oh, and if your parents had set you up with an agent, who knows what you'd be up to right now, do you think. You may have been one of those Disney stars that never much learn how to really think for yourself. Instead, you made your own way. To me, life is all about learning, from successes and mistakes, to do better as you go along. I think you are doing well in that respect. Dad
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