this sucks. Things have been more difficult financially than they have ever been before. I had been expected several checks much earlier in the month, but now it's nearly the twentieth and none of them have arrived. I check the mail 20 times a day waiting for the invisible mailman to come so that I can finally get money in the bank, so that I can finally stop obsessing about it and go about looking for better work. But because nothing comes, day after day, I feel like I'm just prolonging an inevitable dread.
But I'm secretly not really that worried about anything (surely Candice would hate to hear me say that) but it's true. I know that in time, the checks will show up, the problem will be resolved. In a month I will have caught up without question, I will have delivered a few pizzas, finished the mess with the ridiculous EDD people, paid all my freaking bills, and maybe even have auditioned for a thing or two - all by my birthday. All the while, my lovely counterpart will work her steady job and make good too. Soon we will both be sitting happily around in nonchalance reading books, feeling the "everything is wonderfully ok" vibe.
I paid some dues a while back, then I got some promotions, now it's gonna be time to pay some dues again. And you know what? I promise you that I have no qualms to spend a hefty lovely chunk of my next amount of time paying dues. Its in the due-paying that we dream the hardest, right? I just can't wait to start paying. Because the one thing worse than paying dues is WAITING to pay your dues. My good heavenly Krishna it's an awful game to play, the waiting one.
So there it is, optimism masked by pessimism, masked by unshakable optimism. I assure you, unless something goes horrifically wrong (and even then, still) everything is going be extremely fine indeed. InDEED.
Love you guys. Pray that USBank goes under, because then I wouldn't have lost a cent.
:-)
Peace
Mikie
6 comments:
i don't get it about US bank. they have all my money! oh, you mean you owe them! well...times are going to get better. and in the meantime, like you said, your checks will arrive and all will be just fine. don't fret too much and go out and deliver those pizzas. just remember to do little sweet free things for candice to show how much you appreciate her steadiness. you guys are adorable. take care of each other. love you.
Bull crap Mikie I don't believe you. Go eat a salad and rethink your life
Yea, what Heather said. (especially the part abt. sweet things for you know who--unconditionally)
I would hate for Us to go down with my measly few bucks, everything counts man. But I totally love what you say how everything is going to work out. I feel the same way, even when things feel like they couldn't get any worse, then they do. You still have that feeling. It's all down hill from here. The hard parts over. Optimism is the way to go. And it always does work out some way or another, somehow. Anyways. I feel ya. Keep up the good waiting, you know its coming! Love you xoxo
mikie, Times are hard. You're just gonna have to swallow your pride. Why don't you get a job at the Burgerrama? They'll hire you! My Lord, I saw on the TV, they had this little retarded boy working the cash register.
Jk. That's from one of my fave movies, Reality Bites.
Mikie, I am glad you are an optimist at heart young man!
What's the EDD thing all about? You have me stumped on that one. So I heard your check came. I'm sure that felt good. Things will get better. Enjoy each moment of the NOW and just Breathe my precious son. I love you, Momma
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