Sometimes I feel like I'm living in another country. These people all seem foreign - with their complete lives and full-on careers, hobbies, families. They drive so slow and carefully, go out for drinks at night, get off work around 5.. They have circles of friends, weekend activities, their wives and bros and dogs. Everyone is plugged in, always. In love with someone else. Their eyes focused on something I don't even see. What is it? What do they see that I can't even find the grey blur of? How did they start their lives here, when did they break from the outside in? Was there ever their time to wonder at others and feel comletely alien and disconnected from the society in which they'd chosen?

What's strangest of all is that my society, where I belong, I couldn't give you a location. It doesn't really exist except in my mind. There have been moments lately when I did truly feel at home. And that's a funny thing to say because I was standing on a ship's veranda overlooking the passing ocean, or alone on a trail singing to the Los Angeles skyline 50 miles away, or sitting on the back of a raft watching the trees sweep by, or dancing in a recording booth shouting at an imaginary police officer, or walking by bums sleeping peacefully under the early stars - all these places held a glint of home.. of the freedom that home brings. It's so pure and obvious. But it only comes in glints. And they're so separate from what everyone else does every day that it doesn't seem correct. I crave the relaxation of knowing that I'll get to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again exactly the same as today. Another 2nd chance at life/work/love, every day. But instead it's all seasonal and incredible, and temporary - like a good river day: you feel amazing for a moment in time and you want it to last forever, so you enjoy it as if it will. But it doesn't. That's home for me, inbetween temporary happinesses.

Maybe it's on its way. Maybe soon, maybe later. Maybe never. :)

So my Subway sandwich is finished and Patrick is waiting for me to go pick his ass up. Guess I better go.

Seeya dudes

Mikie