Summer or 2000

summer's hiding somewhere ahead

I remember sitting on a stage in suspenders
under the warm stars, in an evening stage light,
the band rasped an opening to the song
something rumbled from the speakers, fog was building
cross-legged with my back to the audience
I sat staring at the black-painted bars
with my purple shoes in front of me, my arms resting
on my knees. I could hear a loud sample being played
and feel the tension of the crowd, breathing in wait

I remember being brought to that same spot
my hands bound one by one to the black bars
the band playing clashes of fright and dissonance
and like a victim in the chair I rattled and heaved
in electric terror, my eyes tight with the pain
of the night I'd left behind
in my mind wondering, what is this?

and singing of my death.

I remember the six or seven
pairs of hands lifting me up
my stomach facing the warm night sky
arms brought out, eyes to the stars
being carried in silent chant up the stairs
and into the darkness

This is how all summers should begin.
The winter breaths cold with life
then melts as summer summits the furthest peak.
In love and practice we'd bitten through it,
so now we might shed our winter skins
and send them off in a wave of love,
faring them well on a journey that is no longer ours

...

I remember a night in a closet not long after
my arms wrapped around another
my mind spinning in pure delight
for I had discovered what it was to finally be free
This was life, this was Love and
everything was amazing.