Thursday, November 18, 2010

Ahh Liminality, a great place to spend November. This is becoming an annual habit.

quick question

When I publish blogs, I generally look and proofread immediately, edit, publish, re-edit, publish again, re-edit, etc. This normally goes on for about 10 minutes after I've written something. Now, if you're a "follower," does that mean it tells you 10+ times that I've published the same blog? I've always wondered this. It not, hurray. If so, hurrsuck.

Mountains

There's a rim of mountains hugging the edge of town. They're always right there, standing like guardians. If you take the winding road up to the entrance of the Canyon park, you start to feel like you are walking into the feet of giants.

Let's compare mountains.

The difference between these mountains and the grey-topped treeless demons of the High Sierras is the way these shoot upwards in elevation and brim with creatures in total natural disarray. They skyrocket upwards as if there was a rush to grow tall, now adolescent mounds of earth. Like a series of green volcanos in waves.

The High Sierras on the other hand are the ancient royalty of California, powerul in their lengthy rule along the north and south of the eastern border. They command silence, stern and wise, old kings watching, barracading whimsical intruders.

The mountains here are but desert princes. No coxcombs spiked with rock and snow adorn their heads, but the smooth green of youth. And
the chaos in their canyons! The High Sierras' geography has grown sturdy with age, nature's order filling the lakes and rivers, covering the foothills with well-spaced pines, leaving room for meadows, dropping occasional boulders and straining rivers clean and white in paths perfected.

But these desert children have no such order. Bugs and twigs are gypsies, weeds overgrow trees, meadows are smothered, rivers trickle to naked dirt; time was not spent to create these canyonlands, they seem to have appeared as if overnight, begging for fame and fortune but ending up a messy desert playground for squirrels.

Still I see through their infirmities, I see the makings of kings. These irresponsible kidmountains have greatness in their past and many stories ahead, so go I to search for something old and untouched.

Mikie

Movies

I watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince tonight for the first time - it was a viewing party with some old friends that I dearly miss.. one in particular.

Movies are really starting to fascinate me again.. Actually, a lot of things are - particularly stories with sweeping stages and stakes. But the movie, here's a medium we all in the past few generations have worshipped since childhood. And I think it's one of the greatest manmade wonders of the world, the movie is. What happens to us for those 120 (plus or minus) minutes is a lucid, out-of-body experience that is unmatchable in entertainment. Unlike stage, where it's very difficult as an audience member to believe the situation is real, a movie actually transports your consciousness into an alternative universe for that small period of time. We relax into the work and choices of the actors and creators and are free to sit back and just believe everything that is laid out in front of us. It's completely incredible.

Tonight as Dumbledore plummeted to his demise (sorry for the spoiler) somebody in the room was teary-eyed. Look at this business! Talk about art, when was the last time a product made you feel something. Movies, as products, can be fine-crafted works of honest art by talented professionals trying to make a living making their art. It's not just for the money, though it can be. But the really good ones, the ones you remember as a kid or talk about with your friends, those are the movies that make me proud to be giving my all to an industry that literally affects and often changes lives. We're all people, and movies are a universal human conversation. I freaking love it.

I sound like the Insane Clown Posse doing that Miracles song right now.
Look it up on YouTube, I refuse to link it :)

maybe I'm just happy to feel something again

Love. More love. Joshua Tree in 6 hours.

Goodnight

Mikie

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Forgiveness

Some people take some things very personally. It's confusing: how do you gauge it? We've all been working on it for years. I definitely have.

It's all about forgiving.

If there was a superpower I was born with, besides an ability to make objects vanish into my mouth and reappear in my stool, it's the Power of Unconditional Forgiveness. And it's a bloody curse. *not like bloody stool*

See, if somebody wrongs me I go "ow! that hurt" and then smile at them and high-five.
If I did the same exact thing to someone else, it's "ow! that hurt" and they frown and be pissed for the day.

WHY. Why are some people hardwired to immediately forgive while for others it can take days, months, YEEARRSS. Why. People are so different. What is the meaning of life. Who ate my chocolate chips.

I like to think the car's always fixable. Never irreparable damage. I guess worst case I could always find a new one or have no car again for a while.
(above: metaphor)


The End

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Love Rant

I was wrong about love. Love is a freeing thing.. maybe not infinitely, but love frees you from yourself. Even blind love, it takes you away from yourself and your imagination.. not saying it's a good thing to leave your imagination behind, but just once in a while we need a break from our minds in order to stay sane. And that's what love, whatever kind, does for you, it frees you from the inside-out, of your thoughts. Love is the root of all evil. Wait, that's money. Can't buy me love.

Anyway, I only say this because my heart has been fuller in the past 3 days than I have felt it's fullness in months. I mean it, months. Yesterday I was drunk with love. Ooh how I miss love, how I miss it so.

Real quick: who am I even speaking to on here? Probably some third-person projection of myself. I know of maybe 2 readers.
Ah, that's it! I'm speaking to YOU dear mind, YOU failed love-tamer, who furies my thoughts, stirring them vigorously with a cracking wooden spoon and flings them like batter about the walls. From this bloggy vantage point I can see your messy cooking skills and wonder at it all. Ha! Learn to pour a pancake for godssake. And the oven's burning again, can't you see?!

Ok anyway, Love.

Maybe I'm blindly making up love because I want so badly to have love during the approaching holiday season? Since I do not have, nor can I simply select a Love, I've been searching for any emotionally interested clue for a while now... maybe that's why when one even came close to coming along I snatched it up! Give me an inch, I'll take a mile. As the saying goes.

Like the wonderful play I was lucky enough to perform in last night. Oh, Charles Lamb. I got to be Charliemeboy, Charles the stuttering, ginloving Lamb. I started to fall into a close acquaintance with him, he was becoming me, just enough so that we could perform our staged reading last night. And after, like all good things, I had to let him go.

That's an interesting piece of Love, and life. Every thing we love must be available to be let go at any moment. That's a folly and a strength I mix together - don't wrap it around your wrist for when that unexpected day arrives that you must let go you'll lose your hand with it! You have to have it in your palm, between your fingers only, ready to release.

But the things that we really love never go away. And the things we try to love do.

It's the getting from B to A that is so hard, going away to not. One letter's difference, and a universe of impossibility. How many times have you actually succeeded in wanting to love something, and then getting what you want: getting to love it? A rare few.

I loved my college career but that was more like a wild animal that I had to tame, so I wrapped the reigns all the way up my arms and pulled and struggled and tamed it.

But people are different.. aren't they? Are they. Maybe. When you have feelings for someone, instead of gingerly hoping they don't spook and dash like a timid cat, should you rather take whatever strings you've got and hang on for dear life? If they run, you follow.. you don't let go with all your might? Can you really tame a human?
I have a feeling, no. You can't tame a human, it's inhumane. You have to meet them halfway.

Meeting them halfway. That's the tough part, because they have to come around. You can stand in the middle waiting and waiting.. but they have to choose it for themselves. The waiting is what kills me :)

But it's that exact waiting where love really makes you show your colours. Do you work? Are you an active waiter, working on things and keeping up to date? Or a passive waiter, ignoring the situation and going about your day?

I know nothing of love. Love is like auditions.. you learn all you need to know in one and then the next is a completely different animal, and all your knowledge is useless.

Speaking of auditions, I have two in about 2 hours. So I must be off

Farewell.

Monday, November 15, 2010

November 15th.

Lots to do today, lots. Let me just publicly via-blog apologize if I meant to hang out with you today because there's not a chance.

Tonight I am literally supposed to be at three places at once. How does that work? It doesn't.

Probably the highlight of the day is tonight's staged reading for the Actor's Studio that I'm a decent-sized part of..excitedly. Sure I know it's "just" a staged reading, but these people are so incredible to work around and with that I feel like I've found an 'element' to strive to be within- it's good, old-fashioned, credible, language-obsessed acting. With big choices and serious people. Certainly a hearken back to my lovely SSC days.

I get a lot of advice from a lot of different people in this show business world, and every piece of it is valuable. Every nuance fits into the larger puzzle, but the picture's almost infinitely large. You've just got to pick a corner and start building..and if you find another section to work on then make that too. Puzzles aren't simple, it takes time. Still, it's nice to see a picture start to finally emerge, especially when you're not sure what it's supposed to look like in the first place.

Right now I get to go see one of my life's most respected superiors, and ask him for a favor. Wish me luck.

And finally, Mumford and Sons and my awareness for the impeding holidays has me remembering truths that have never gone away. Funny how that works, how old loves never die.. No, it's not what you're thinking. This one's different. This time there's hope. I suppose. And you know how I feel about hope ;)

Mikie

moving pictures

The Great Salamander Rescue


Windy Tree


Biking Pt.1


Biking Pt. 2


Claremont Mountains


My new best friend


Lady in the Ground


Fall in the Pool


Crazed Biking


Goodbye Shadow

Sunday, November 14, 2010

there is no freedom in love
it is an inescapable prison
love is a man's tyrant
a calm, merciless oppressor
numbing the spirit like
sickening sugar
stuck to your wrapped-up
paper heart
impossible to touch
without tearing the folds

there is no freedom in love
it is a keyless manacle chained
to an anchor, hoisted from the ship

true freedom is apathy
but the lover is doomed

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Pics

Hard day, so I went for a hike as usual. Here's some pictures of my solo (and not so) as of late :)























Monday, November 8, 2010

How to Bike to the Rose Bowl

Leave your house.
Pedal away from El Molino.
Cover 4 blocks until Arroyo Seco
Turn right and cross several lanes to hit the farthest lane.
Stop, at the stoplight.
Light turns green.
Pull left onto Colorado Ave.
Start whipping between the ridiculously slow cars while gazing down the shops and shoppers as you cruise along. It's heating up outside. People are out, dressed all pretty.
Take a moment to reflect on your dirty shirt, holey shorts and awesome Chacos.
Stop at the stoplight just before Borders
Look to the right.
See the tall Cathedral jutting like a stack of archaic blocks in the northern sky.
Enjoy the view, smiling.
The light turns green.
Keep going
Cross the bridge over the leftovers of 134 South.
Cars on the road have thinned to none
The empty road is yours.
Dance and sweep between street, sidewalk and grass.
Ignore the empty red lights
Push up the little hill
Pass the Jaguar dealership, Ralphs, and Museum
Head towards the intersection of Orange Grove and Colorado.
Start to feel free.
At the top, the light is red.
Cross over Colorado
Perch up next to the pole.
See the orange trees and open lawn.
Wait.
Cars zoom by. Occasional looks your direction, nothing certain.
Wait patiently, breathe deep.
Realize this is a good time to take off your shirt.
The sun is bright, the sky blue
Tear off your white dirty shirt
Let your torso be lit by the low-hazed summer sky.
The red hand turns to a little green man.
Step on your pedals and loose the chain from its gear
Grind your old bike forward until the momentum picks up
Zoom through the intersection.
On your left is more lawns.
Pass the stone drinking fountain on your right.
Enter the walkway.
You're now on that long beautiful bridge running over the valley, just beneath the Ritz Carleton hotel
Begin to cross the bridge.
To your left is the long valley of the Arroyo Seco river
To your right opens up the vast glory of the valleys of Glendale
They lie nestled in a cup beneath rising mountains to its north, east and west.
See the cursive sign reading ROSE BOWL.
Look for a split second
Feel a twinge of fear that you might catch your pedals on the bridge dividers and fling yourself towards the cement pillars on either side again (see also: your horrendously unfortunate bike accident in 2007)

Keep going.

Reach the stairs on the other side, leading under the bridge.
Stick your foot on the pillar just before the top step
leap off your bike
turn it upsidedown
lift it over your head
carry the whole thing down the flight of steps
remember training for your backpacking trip to Mono Pass
reach the bottom
flip the bike back over
leap on.
Pedal down the hill in front of you.
A car or two whizzes by.
Release the handlebars
Let your balance take over
Stretch your arms out on either side.
Stand up on your bike
Pretend you're a bird flying close to the downhill road.
Pick up speed!
Start flapping your wings like an eagle diving for prey!
Sing!
Reach the stoplight at the bottom
Sit back down.
Pedal to the right onto the bridge ignoring the red light.
No cars are on the bridge with you.
Cross with the luxury of taking any lane.
At the farther end, see a little dirt trail pulling off to the left.
Approach, get dangerously close to the metal pole and turn onto the descending dirt trail.
Pedal downhill with fervor!
Birds and squirrels will run out of your way like with Link running to the Master Sword in the Lost Woods.
(smile arrogantly at your awesome reference)
Duck under the low branches of the old oak tree
Speed into the open park of the Aquatic Center.
You're almost there!
Large pine trees block the sun overhead
Keep pedaling forward!
The park opens up into a massive parking lot full of kids going to their swimming classes and parents pushing strollers.
Dodge the strollers and make eye-contact with 3 or 4 kids and parents,
Continue to pedal over the sundrenched parking lot.
At the farther end, look at the cursive ROSE BOWL sign within 100 yards.
See the track that runs around the whole stadium.
See the massive golf course just on the other side.
Cross the mostly-empty road with a huge grin on your face
Pull onto the track
Look up happily at your beloved deity, the ROSE BOWL sign.
Be happy because you've made it!

Now enjoy the track, stop and play in the grass, climb atop the bathroom stables, watch the kites flying, dodge the swooping remote control airplane, do yoga in the park, recite Shakespeare monologues to the rabble (aka overgrown grasses) and even explore behind the golf course if you feel so bold. Congratulations, you've found one of the many amazing natural playgrounds deep within the desert valleys and canyons surrounding Los Angeles.

Enjoy!

Next time:

How To Get Back

love Mikie

Monday, November 1, 2010

Life in Los Angeles

...is pretty wonderful. I have some incredible friendships here. The weather is divine, and NO it's not always sunny. In fact it's as cold and cloudy and windy and electric as the cities in the Bay Area, which is a piece of nature that I love. It's also close to the mountains, so for this past dry and gusty week all I could smell between the buildings was a draft of dead leaves and icy mountain nighttime - the same smell as that one night I was borrowing Stan's Mom's Kia (aka Misty) and drove all the way up to Tahoe from Placerville just to get out and stare at those glimmering beads of white glittering against the silver night, but the freezing air filling my nostrils is what struck stuck into my senses - that blast of ice, the black and empty air, dry and whisping between pines and peaks, it swooped into my car, under my clothes, through my vents and cleansed my sinuses. A deep cold high air, that's the mountain icy air I'm talking about. Last week it visited me here in LA, only now is it drifting away letting Fall back in.

I'm out of my house now. Still getting mail in Pasadena, but I've spent the past 4 days seriously househunting. To no avail, of course.. but I'm extremely picky. I refuse to live in another situation where I'm not comfortable, so I'm sacrificing comfort these few days so I can find a more full comfort later. Capiche? So if you think I'm homeless, you're wrong. I'm just stubborn and searching.

Last night was Halloween in West Hollywood. If you don't know what that means, I'll tell you: it's the biggest Halloween walk/celebration in the world (seriously) and I found myself deep in the thick of rave jumping Charlie Browns, Avatars, enormous Masks, barely-clothed chicks and guys, and a lot of really really happy people. Going to Burning Man this year totally obliterated my fear for large groups of crazy-dressed people. I think seeing that there is actually nothing "wrong" or bad happening (so long as you steer clear of drugs and the like) it's actually a complete celebration! Like a bunch of dancing children. Literally. But childlike adults are looked down on, especially if they aren't ashamed of themselves. Such a funny society we live in, obsessing with maturity but secretly daydreaming about letting it all go and running free again. What are people to do.

Now I'm in a Starbucks, going over a script for something called Dear Murderess, a wonderful piece of classical theatre that I've been invited to staged-read for, looking for good homes online ...

and you know what?
Life in Los Angeles is definitely wonderful.
These people open their doors to you,
they welcome you in, some almost with extremity.
"PLEASE!! COME IN!!"
That's wonderfulness. Accepting without bounds.

Los Angeles is a representation of a world that isn't perfect, but works like magic because everybody believes in something or something else. It's like a fantasyland of professionals mixing up with each other and seeing what falls out onto the plate. That's what you do here - you come with an empty plate and walk around filling it up with others' ideas, invitations, food, promises, rottenness, sweetness, you can load it up. The bigger the plate, the more you can try. And there's plenty to go around.

There is no evil in any city. Evil is an idea that comes from people who believe that evil exists.
Everyone else is just trying to be happy.

By the way - get the new Sufjan Stevens. It's completely different, and after 3 listens I'm hooked.

OH!! I almost forgot. Look at this review that a producer guy gave ELEVATOR!
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5958656/elevator_a_theatrical_review.html

Mikie